Sci Fi Movies

So, today I caught the last ten minutes or so of Dragon Wars on the Sci Fi channel and...okay, I'm sure it's a great movie that a lot of people spent a lot of time working on but I honestly couldn't tell you what the hell happened in it.

I don't get it. Why did the girl turn into a giant blue ball? Is she Glinda the Blue Witch? Where did she get that poofy dress? Did that kid's necklace just kill an entire army? Where the hell did that other dragon come from? Why do the dragon's look like a deranged crossbreed of cobra and worm? Pictured above: Nothing
I fucking understand.

I'll probably have to go back at some point and watch the entire movie from the beginning, but I honestly think that would confuse me more. I was left watching the credits going: "What the hell just happened?"

I have the same reaction to new episodes of Lost.

Anyway, so that's my rant for the day. I've also finally figured out how exactly I like to caption pictures on here. The captions are for your amusement. On to the traditions!

Recommended Book Of The Day: The Way of Shadows, by Brent Weeks. For anyone who likes the video game Assassin's Creed (or just cool assassin books in general, this is for you. Medieval Fantasy, like most of my recommendations. Summary below.)

Summary: For Durzo Blint, assassination is an art - and he is the city's most accomplished artist. For Azoth, survival is precarious. Something you never take for granted. As a guild rat, he's grown up in the slums and learned to judge people quickly - and to take risks. Risks like apprenticing himself to Durzo Blint.
But to be accepted, Azoth must turn his back on his old life and embrace a new identity and name. As Kylar Stern, he must learn to navigate the assassins' world of dangerous politics and strange magics - and cultivate a flair for death.

So yes, this series is awesome. I'm eagerly awaiting getting my hands on the sequel to Way, called Shadow's Edge.

Quote of the Day: "Did Jet just die?" "You know, it's really unclear."

Funny video of the Day: Right, so here's the video. It's by the guys over at Derrickcomedy.com and absolutely hilarious. It's called Emo Song.

Of Time And Space

Why do I always end up writing these things at 11:30 at night? Maybe because I have too much to do and not enough time to keep up on a blog that I keep promising myself I'm going to make interesting?

Today's topic? Avatar: The Last Airbender.

Yes, it's a Nickelodeon show, and I know that, but it's just so effing cool. It revolves around a group of teenagers with the ability to control the elements who have to save the world from the evil, destructive plans of the Fire Lord. So... that's really all I have to say about it today. Go, watch it if you like.

So, now for a new tradition: the recommended book of the day.

Recommended Book of the Day:

City of Bones, by Cassandra Clare.

When fifteen-year-0ld Clary Fray heads out to the Pandemonium Club in New York City, she hardly expects to witness a murder -- much less a murder committed by three teenagers covered with strange tattoos and brandishing bizarre weapons. Clary knows she should call the police, but it's hard to explain a murder when the body disappears into thin air and the murderers are invisible to everyone but Clary.
Equally startled by her ability to see them, the murderers explain themselves as Shadowhunters: a secret tribe of warriors dedicated to ridding the earth of demons. Within twenty-four hours, Clary's mother disappears and Clary herself is almost killed by a grotesque demon.
But why would demons be interested in ordinary mundanes like Clary and her mother? And how did Clary suddenly get the Sight? The Shadowhunters would like to know...

So that's the recommended book, and coming from someone who just finished it, it's fabulous. A must for anyone that likes fantasy and real-world mixtures, and Clare is an good writer.

Quote of the Day: "That was the most disturbing thing I've ever done." "Wanna go again?" "Hell yeah."

Funny video of the day: For all those Facebook traffickers who read this blog (does anyone read this blog? Am I entertaining myself? Why do I always wind up asking rhetorical questions?) here's Julian Smith with "25 Things I Hate About Facebook".

Oh Deer Lord

Ah, Barnes & Noble, bane of my existence, how you taunt me so with your beckoning pages and new stories awaiting only my money to unfold before my eyes. The library, that wordsmith whore, 'tis not the same as your complete ownership.

I took a whole semester of Shakespeare. Can you tell? That was effing beautiful.

Here's my rant for the day: medicines.

I was listening to the radio today and this commercial came on for an anti-depressant whose side effects included, but were apparently not limited to, constipation, impudence, and dry mouth. As if those three weren't bad enough, long-term effects include heart failure, lung disease, kidney disease, and rectal bleeding.

Rectal bleeding.

If it's a choice between being a little sad and blood coming out of my ass, I'm going with depression. What is with these medicines where the side-effects are worse then what they're treating?

End rant.

Today's topic is not a typo, but a reference to the Jagermeister bottle. While I'm not old enough to drink Jagermeister, I am old enough to appreciate the humor in an alcohol bottle that has a deer and a cross inside a large circle.

I'm ending this blog with two things: The funny quote of the day, and the funny video of the day, which will now be traditional so long as I remind my lazy ass to find them.

Quote: "Well, better to have love and lost than to have to deal with that effing bitch for the whole rest of the season."

Video: Check out the guys over at britanick.com, two wonderfully funny guys wasting their degrees. Keeping with the Shakespeare theme, I link you to "A Monologue For Thee".

Ever Get That Feeling?

What's this blog about? Whatever the hell I want it to be about, I guess.

My name is Kit Benson, I live in Rhode Island. Yes, that's a state. No, I don't mean Long Island. Yes, it's part of America (I've really been asked all of these questions). If you know what Rhode Island it, congratulations you watch Family Guy!

Either that, or you actually know geography.

I'll try to keep this as entertaining as possible. It should be funny, witty, and interesting, and if it isn't the kidnapped comedians in my basement don't get food for a month.

Kidding (or am I?).

Do you ever get that feeling that someone is reading something you wrote at 11:30 at night? Did I make this blog for no reason?

I didn't, actually. I created this blog to keep people updated on my account at TBC (Thousandbookchallenge.com), and the stories contained therein. And to keep myself from getting rusty when I can't get around writers block. I'm determined to write on this every day, posting ideas, funny quotes, anecdotes, rants, or whatever crosses my mind. Do I care if you read it? Not particularly. I'll be happy if you do, of course, but happier if you jump on over to TBC. Since it's almost twelve in the morning I'll get this over with, expect a funnier, wittier, more anecdotal post tomorrow. Contained below are short summaries of my stories. And yes, I know Ghost of You has a character with my name. She isn't self-derivative, I promise, I just liked the name on her.

The Adelara Trilogy

Book One - The Blackstone Knights:

A thousand years ago, the fate of the kingdom of Adelara was forever changed when a dying man used the last of his magic to bind together the royal family and their most loyal bodyguards. But now Adelara falters. King Roginald murdered his brother to take his throne and now teaches his niece and nephew his own ways; the Adelaran people take their cue from their king and turn on one another; and the magic of the land ebbs day by day. The only hope of the kingdom lies in its true heir, Prince Rian, and his young bodyguard Anissa Carter. If only they hadn't vanished fifteen years ago...

Book Two - To Fight Fire

Book Three - The Mage Storm

City of the Gods

A few cities stand tall amid the ruins of Earth's modern age. Technology and superstition grew together, until with the ending of a great cycle in the Christian year 2012, every creature of myth or legend sprang to life. Mankind now lives (or human beings now live) in a world where Apollo can drop by for dinner, brownies are more likely to be found in the garden than the kitchen, and swords forged of iron are the only defenses against trolls and their kin.

Cairyn Nox grew up alone and fought her way into a coveted position as a government Seeker: a highly-trained tracker whose only job is to hunt down mythological creatures and destroy them, making Earth safe for humans again. And she's very good at her job...on paper. In reality, she believes that humans and mythological creatures could learn to share the world. It's getting them to try that's the hard part.

But Cairyn holds a secret that not even she knows about, and on the night before her twenty-third birthday, her life spirals out of control. She must battle evil gods, vanquish demons, fend off lecherous deities at bars, and deal with the not-always-helpful assitance of Loki, the flame-haired, handsome god of mischief. This is gonna be one wild ride...

The Ghost of You (tentative title)

Sean Bishop has never had the most normal of lives. His dad is a ghost hunter, his mom is a self-proclaimed psychic, and he doesn't believe in anything he can't see. Then one night, when his dad drags him along on yet another ghost hunt, he sees darkness take a tangible form...a half-visible girl chases it away, and before vanishing murmurs into his ear, "You owe me one".

Three years later, the ghost Kit needs her favor repaid.

There are restless spirits among the dead who plan to steal the bodies of the living by possession. Kit hopes to stop it, and Sean is her only link to the sunlit world. Battling angry spirits with a friendly ghost companion isn't what Sean expected to do in his senior year of high school, but it needs to be done. He and Kit come out of each battle better friends than before, best friends, in fact, but frienship seems to be turning to something else. Slowly but surely, Sean is falling in love. But that's impossible. Almost as impossible as ghosts.


Remember, the above stories are subject to copyright laws.